do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
