i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
