So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
