He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
