Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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