they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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