you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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