I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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