My friends, they love my intelligence
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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