I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
