To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
