I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
