plz talk dirty to me
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
