the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Everything about him screamed your future.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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