the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
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i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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