I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
