There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
