Your face is a jimmy john
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
We left an ass print on the piano.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
