Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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