I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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