The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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