I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
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It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
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Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
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