oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
