I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
