Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
