may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
i've created a new STD.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
