He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
