Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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