Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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