I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
