brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
