How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
