i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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