weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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