Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
