so let's talk penis.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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