I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
