So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
