Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
