I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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