This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I stole a fireplace last night.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
