Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
farters have to be the big spoon...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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