Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
