i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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