Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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