Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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