john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
