dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
