As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
so that wasnt chicken after all
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
