Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
