i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
