Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
