He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
