It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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