I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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