My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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