I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
