Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
