I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize